First stop: Eric's house, around 9:15 pm. Nawara an pagka-vegetarian ni Baka sa siram san pagkaon.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Fiesta sa Bulan- Karaon sa balay nira Gojie
First stop: Eric's house, around 9:15 pm. Nawara an pagka-vegetarian ni Baka sa siram san pagkaon.
Fiesta sa Bulan- Karaon kara Fr. Gerry
Next stop: Fr. Gerry's Parish House. pag nagrereunion kita, sige lang an palibre kan Fr. Gerry. Just like in the old days. Salamatonon Fr. Gerry
Dogbag
Fr. Vicboy Dollentas, a witness to the felony of requesting dogbags, threatened, "Iba-blog ko kamo. Iba-blog ko kamo"
Dogbag gihapon?
A member of the Caterer's staff recognized us as the same group that requested for dogbags at Fr. Gerry's silver ordination anniversary two months earlier. Sabi ni Fr. Gerry, " Next time, magdara na kamo Tupperware."
Nono expounding on "how to make marriage work"
At the churchyard before leaving for San Benon. Nono Dorotan [married to Dr. Aurora Luzuriaga, a sister of Deedee] giving a lecture on Marriage and How To Make It Work. Wonder what's on the mind of Dante
Monday, May 30, 2005
aetas & mangyans
This will be the first installment of my stories.
In the summer of 1988 I joined the the summer internship under the DOH Immersion Program. I was with a group of student nurses. I was assigned to a foster family in Brgy. Taugtog, Botolan, Zambales and stayed there for the whole of May. It was a small hut in the middle of a 40 hectare ricefield. The nearest neighbor was the Aeta village, Sitio Masikap. There I met the chieftain Apo Buyaw. There was something familiar about this man, standing only 4'6" and frail. It was by the end of the month that he told me he was in the film with FPJ in Los Baños. There it was, he was one of the aetas that appeared in the film Agila back in 1983.
My foster family, the Garcias, were nice. Though they could only offer the anti-room for us, they offer all they have. Supper usually ends with stories under the night sky since there were no electricity then. There was no need for electric fan or airconditioning as the night air becomes colder every hour. Unfortunately we can't stay in bed as long as we want to even on Sundays. Why? Those darn American aviators from Subic always break the sound barrier by 7:30 am, the sonic boom from their jets give a out a loud bang that I taught a war game was happening in the kitchen.
Back to the aetas, they say there were of two kinds in zambales, the true aetas that live at the slope of Mt. Pinatubo (it erupted a few years later) and the ones who opted to live in the low lands to pose for pictures. Apo Buyaw is of the latter kind. Everytime a group of tourists would come one of his wards would play the ukelele made of coconut shell and Apo Buyaw would do the monkey dance. The truth is, there's no such thing as a monkey dance as part of the Aeta culture. Buyaw invented it to make an easy buck.
The nun running the NGO center told me of a group of American doctors who tried to enter the upland aeta village with the intention to gather blood samples. They were of the thinking that HIV/AIDS was inherent among aboriginal tribes as in Africa. They were met by the chief who said that the only ones you need to look after for AIDS are your servicemen.
The second time I was in Subic was with the Medical Action Group (MAG). We were supposed to have a dialog with Admiral Riche, then commander of the naval station. He was a no show. That time I was ready to tell him that I never had a fine alarm clock than your after burners, 7:30 on the dot.
Fastforward, October 1998. I was finishing my training on artificial insemination at UPLB. the practicum site was in Naujan, Occ Mindoro. We went as far as Pinamalayan. Yes, there were mangyans. The story that they have a vestigeal tail isn't true, and no they don't copulate in public. They're just wanderers, and that's that. Before leaving mindoro I went to a souvenir shop in Calapan. I wanted a genuine artcile from this island. Of the many things i could take home i chose a framed bahag ng mangyan, five years old and good for coughs and flu, so they say. hehehehe
In the summer of 1988 I joined the the summer internship under the DOH Immersion Program. I was with a group of student nurses. I was assigned to a foster family in Brgy. Taugtog, Botolan, Zambales and stayed there for the whole of May. It was a small hut in the middle of a 40 hectare ricefield. The nearest neighbor was the Aeta village, Sitio Masikap. There I met the chieftain Apo Buyaw. There was something familiar about this man, standing only 4'6" and frail. It was by the end of the month that he told me he was in the film with FPJ in Los Baños. There it was, he was one of the aetas that appeared in the film Agila back in 1983.
My foster family, the Garcias, were nice. Though they could only offer the anti-room for us, they offer all they have. Supper usually ends with stories under the night sky since there were no electricity then. There was no need for electric fan or airconditioning as the night air becomes colder every hour. Unfortunately we can't stay in bed as long as we want to even on Sundays. Why? Those darn American aviators from Subic always break the sound barrier by 7:30 am, the sonic boom from their jets give a out a loud bang that I taught a war game was happening in the kitchen.
Back to the aetas, they say there were of two kinds in zambales, the true aetas that live at the slope of Mt. Pinatubo (it erupted a few years later) and the ones who opted to live in the low lands to pose for pictures. Apo Buyaw is of the latter kind. Everytime a group of tourists would come one of his wards would play the ukelele made of coconut shell and Apo Buyaw would do the monkey dance. The truth is, there's no such thing as a monkey dance as part of the Aeta culture. Buyaw invented it to make an easy buck.
The nun running the NGO center told me of a group of American doctors who tried to enter the upland aeta village with the intention to gather blood samples. They were of the thinking that HIV/AIDS was inherent among aboriginal tribes as in Africa. They were met by the chief who said that the only ones you need to look after for AIDS are your servicemen.
The second time I was in Subic was with the Medical Action Group (MAG). We were supposed to have a dialog with Admiral Riche, then commander of the naval station. He was a no show. That time I was ready to tell him that I never had a fine alarm clock than your after burners, 7:30 on the dot.
Fastforward, October 1998. I was finishing my training on artificial insemination at UPLB. the practicum site was in Naujan, Occ Mindoro. We went as far as Pinamalayan. Yes, there were mangyans. The story that they have a vestigeal tail isn't true, and no they don't copulate in public. They're just wanderers, and that's that. Before leaving mindoro I went to a souvenir shop in Calapan. I wanted a genuine artcile from this island. Of the many things i could take home i chose a framed bahag ng mangyan, five years old and good for coughs and flu, so they say. hehehehe
Buteos Team
Buteos Team. Bagang mga taga Africa ini. mga haralaba [no pun intended] nan mga maniwang [again, no pun intended]
Da Ospreys
another picture of the Ospreys team, kaupod an kakanam ni Eric, Ian Renovalles. [he he he]
Sunday, May 29, 2005
the pic
ooops, forgot to acknowledge that the ospreys pic came from the batch87 blog, sorry for that
Ospreys Team
this picture reminds me of the passion and drama of every intrams, year after year we put on a new team shirt and boastfully shows it off in a parade around town. here's a bit of trivia, of the many faces you see in this pic, who among them became my teammate for three years. dong bolunia told me that i'm forever doomed to suffer the agony of defeat by being cursed to be his teammate. sorry dong, though i never won a basketball championship after my first year (the sorcerers), i'm forever greatful to this guy who became a good buddy, but we did win the brain battle championship. this guy is no other than rinofel's bro, cho.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Alter Christus - Reflections on the byways of a Sacred Vocation by Kit Gacias
I initially wanted to become a priest.
In fact, for a time, I thought I would eventually become one. I spent more than thirteen years inside the “hallowed” walls of the seminary and at least, as far as my spiritual director was concerned, that was more than enough proof that I was indeed being called for the priesthood, that that was more than enough initiation to be able to join the men of the cloak, and ultimately, that I was indeed destined to become an “Alter Christus.”
Perhaps I did not give an ear to my vocation and eventually lost it. Or perhaps I had no vocation in the first place. Vocation, from the Latin word “vocare” implies the proper co-ordination among a three member team: the Caller, the one being called and, the calling. And just like the triangle that needs three points to determine a plane, each one is indispensable to effect a harmonious interplay.
Did one member of the team then err in its function? Did something go wrong?
Surely, the Caller cannot be faulted here. For presuming that it is God Himself, he cannot therefore admit any impediment. Perhaps I was at fault and solely to be blamed. Or in the Aristotelico-Thomistic jargon, perhaps the calling remained “in potencia,” a frozen delight and was never translated into “actus.” Or perhaps other outside factors are to be blamed, like other persons, the surrounding circumstances, or more often than not, an imposing system. Nevertheless, wherever the buck stops, the fact is, I am now in the “outside world.”
It is said that not all flowers are for the altar. In the same manner, not everyone that is called is chosen. Yet the vocation to priesthood has always been a curious thing. Everything about it, from its origin to its finality, can be brought forward and questioned in the arena of debate.
First and foremost, the nature of the motivation that moves a person to enter a seminary can already be highly debatable. Is it divine or human? Is it inspired by a divine juggernaut or moved by something else? And what for all intents and purposes is the yardstick that should be employed to be able to determine its nature? For apparently, not all seminarians, and priests for that matter, derive their inspiration from the grace of the Holy Spirit. In fact, many see other factors, from the deadening influence of parents and relatives to false ambitions and selfish vested interests, as their prime movers. Many are in fact forced the don the habit. Even Rizal, a hundred years ago, was able to note this fact and wrote about a priest who was forced to become one by his parents. It is sad, but in this case, the seminarian or the priest becomes the victim of other people’s wishes, a sacrificial lamb minus the theological or mystical touch. It is also strange but in this case, it is the parents and relatives instead who should have been ordained by the bishop. After all, the vocation was theirs. Each of them should have been the ones instead who should have been proclaimed “Tu es sacerdos magnos in aeternam.”
Secondly, the act of choosing as distinct and separate from the act of calling can yet stir another controversy. It is a joke circulating among many ecclesiastics that the latter task is usually attributed to God while the former has already assumed an anonymous identity. Yet as far as formation to priesthood is concerned, it can be technically assumed that the seminary formators already took this divine task to themselves. God calls, the seminary formators choose. It is a fact that it is a matter delegated to seminary formators to testify before the congregation during ordinations whether a particular candidate for the priesthood is worthy or not.
And what when someone unworthy or undeserving turns out to become a priest? Did the Holy Spirit err, as some ecclesiastics would sometimes blaspheme? Or more blasphemously - yes, how they love to blaspheme! - was the Holy spirit bribed? Is the Paraclete rubbing salt unto a wound by allowing undeserving priests to become leaders of the Church which has already suffered long enough from scandals committed by its erring ministers?
Everything happens out of necessity, so the Stoics believe. Following this thesis, it isn’t therefore necessary at all that the Church be led by good and worthy ministers alone; Rather, it is necessary that scandalous and erring priests also occupy its highest ranks. It isn’t necessary that, as far as vocation to priesthood is concerned, the priests be free from any outside influence and vested interests; Rather, it is necessary that some priests fall victim to other people’s wishes and caprices - and that they remain so. It isn’t necessary at all that the inspiration to become a priest be divine and should come from the Holy Spirit; Rather, it is necessary that it would sometimes proceed from a wrong source.
Now, I do not completely subscribe to this. Yet I cannot dispute it either. Indeed, I am more inclined to favor Hume’s position: I do not subscribe to it because first and foremost, it denies the existence of free will. Secondly, experience does not give a good score in favor of this thesis. But I cannot dispute it since ironically, experience does not prove that it cannot happen either. Indeed, it appears that paradoxically, experience only proves that it really does happen.
Perhaps a better if not the best way of explaining this irony is by looking at it sub specie aeternitatis - from the point of view of eternity. For I still I believe that Divine Providence, much like a silico sapien in perfect operation, is at play and at the top of things. Mysterious and boggling to the human mind yet undeniably a force that compels this squalid mundacity to deviate from its vacuous poise, a maelstrom that satiates the insufficience of this perfunctory world.
Divine Providence. Another curious thing. Yet perhaps the only key that could unlock the many doors that veil whatever remains elusive to the human mind. The concept that all things are subject to the divine government and that divine goodness is both the first effecting cause and the ultimate final cause of everything. Pushing it further, perhaps it even extrapolates the Grand Unification Theory which the theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking has been relentlessly laboring on.
This may be too simplistic and I am perhaps taking a quantum leap from a valid logico-epistemic proposition into the absurd. Perhaps I am merely invoking the notion of Divine Purpose as a useful trick of reasoning to arrive at an epistemological dead-end and be able to cover-up the limits of reason. For as Feodor Dostoevski succinctly puts it, “we degrade Providence too much by attributing our ideas to it out of annoyance at being unable to understand it.”
Yet how else should we scratch off layers from the skin of life to be able to understand its oddities and ironies? How shall we run our fingers on the anatomy of physical evil for instance? Under what light shall we explain its very existence? How shall we overcome a paradox, and more concretely, this theological nay, existential paradox?
Perhaps Providence is really the straw that stirs the drink. Perhaps it answers the questions that shroud the nature of vocation to priesthood, justifies the presence of scandalous ministers in the Church and, as far as I am concerned, makes clear why after having been called, I wasn’t chosen.
I am now striving to make a good life outside. Providence has led me to a life of battles, perhaps less in wits and intellectual depths but definitely more in guts and principles. I have chosen to hand down my habits to someone who I pray would be worthy of spreading the sanctity which they signify. Most of my contemporaries in the seminary are now priests. I hope they will all persevere and be happy albeit one or two have already expressed sorrow and regret at a belated realization of having wrongly chosen their paths.
I pray for all of them though. And I pray for more vocations to priesthood - the true vocations - that the Lord will send more laborers in His vineyard. And somehow, by striving to make a good life and with the Lord’s mercy, I pray that I will yet become an “Alter Christus” - however lower now in its form and distinct in its meaning.
And wherever Providence would lead me, my only prayer is “Pater, in manus tuas commendo spiritum meum (Father, into your hands I commend my spirit).”
Kit wrote this wonderful reflection sometime in 1997. He says it's about some of his reflections about failed vocation. It was originally published in "The Thomasian Philosopher," UST Faculty of Philosophy's official publication.
In fact, for a time, I thought I would eventually become one. I spent more than thirteen years inside the “hallowed” walls of the seminary and at least, as far as my spiritual director was concerned, that was more than enough proof that I was indeed being called for the priesthood, that that was more than enough initiation to be able to join the men of the cloak, and ultimately, that I was indeed destined to become an “Alter Christus.”
Perhaps I did not give an ear to my vocation and eventually lost it. Or perhaps I had no vocation in the first place. Vocation, from the Latin word “vocare” implies the proper co-ordination among a three member team: the Caller, the one being called and, the calling. And just like the triangle that needs three points to determine a plane, each one is indispensable to effect a harmonious interplay.
Did one member of the team then err in its function? Did something go wrong?
Surely, the Caller cannot be faulted here. For presuming that it is God Himself, he cannot therefore admit any impediment. Perhaps I was at fault and solely to be blamed. Or in the Aristotelico-Thomistic jargon, perhaps the calling remained “in potencia,” a frozen delight and was never translated into “actus.” Or perhaps other outside factors are to be blamed, like other persons, the surrounding circumstances, or more often than not, an imposing system. Nevertheless, wherever the buck stops, the fact is, I am now in the “outside world.”
It is said that not all flowers are for the altar. In the same manner, not everyone that is called is chosen. Yet the vocation to priesthood has always been a curious thing. Everything about it, from its origin to its finality, can be brought forward and questioned in the arena of debate.
First and foremost, the nature of the motivation that moves a person to enter a seminary can already be highly debatable. Is it divine or human? Is it inspired by a divine juggernaut or moved by something else? And what for all intents and purposes is the yardstick that should be employed to be able to determine its nature? For apparently, not all seminarians, and priests for that matter, derive their inspiration from the grace of the Holy Spirit. In fact, many see other factors, from the deadening influence of parents and relatives to false ambitions and selfish vested interests, as their prime movers. Many are in fact forced the don the habit. Even Rizal, a hundred years ago, was able to note this fact and wrote about a priest who was forced to become one by his parents. It is sad, but in this case, the seminarian or the priest becomes the victim of other people’s wishes, a sacrificial lamb minus the theological or mystical touch. It is also strange but in this case, it is the parents and relatives instead who should have been ordained by the bishop. After all, the vocation was theirs. Each of them should have been the ones instead who should have been proclaimed “Tu es sacerdos magnos in aeternam.”
Secondly, the act of choosing as distinct and separate from the act of calling can yet stir another controversy. It is a joke circulating among many ecclesiastics that the latter task is usually attributed to God while the former has already assumed an anonymous identity. Yet as far as formation to priesthood is concerned, it can be technically assumed that the seminary formators already took this divine task to themselves. God calls, the seminary formators choose. It is a fact that it is a matter delegated to seminary formators to testify before the congregation during ordinations whether a particular candidate for the priesthood is worthy or not.
And what when someone unworthy or undeserving turns out to become a priest? Did the Holy Spirit err, as some ecclesiastics would sometimes blaspheme? Or more blasphemously - yes, how they love to blaspheme! - was the Holy spirit bribed? Is the Paraclete rubbing salt unto a wound by allowing undeserving priests to become leaders of the Church which has already suffered long enough from scandals committed by its erring ministers?
Everything happens out of necessity, so the Stoics believe. Following this thesis, it isn’t therefore necessary at all that the Church be led by good and worthy ministers alone; Rather, it is necessary that scandalous and erring priests also occupy its highest ranks. It isn’t necessary that, as far as vocation to priesthood is concerned, the priests be free from any outside influence and vested interests; Rather, it is necessary that some priests fall victim to other people’s wishes and caprices - and that they remain so. It isn’t necessary at all that the inspiration to become a priest be divine and should come from the Holy Spirit; Rather, it is necessary that it would sometimes proceed from a wrong source.
Now, I do not completely subscribe to this. Yet I cannot dispute it either. Indeed, I am more inclined to favor Hume’s position: I do not subscribe to it because first and foremost, it denies the existence of free will. Secondly, experience does not give a good score in favor of this thesis. But I cannot dispute it since ironically, experience does not prove that it cannot happen either. Indeed, it appears that paradoxically, experience only proves that it really does happen.
Perhaps a better if not the best way of explaining this irony is by looking at it sub specie aeternitatis - from the point of view of eternity. For I still I believe that Divine Providence, much like a silico sapien in perfect operation, is at play and at the top of things. Mysterious and boggling to the human mind yet undeniably a force that compels this squalid mundacity to deviate from its vacuous poise, a maelstrom that satiates the insufficience of this perfunctory world.
Divine Providence. Another curious thing. Yet perhaps the only key that could unlock the many doors that veil whatever remains elusive to the human mind. The concept that all things are subject to the divine government and that divine goodness is both the first effecting cause and the ultimate final cause of everything. Pushing it further, perhaps it even extrapolates the Grand Unification Theory which the theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking has been relentlessly laboring on.
This may be too simplistic and I am perhaps taking a quantum leap from a valid logico-epistemic proposition into the absurd. Perhaps I am merely invoking the notion of Divine Purpose as a useful trick of reasoning to arrive at an epistemological dead-end and be able to cover-up the limits of reason. For as Feodor Dostoevski succinctly puts it, “we degrade Providence too much by attributing our ideas to it out of annoyance at being unable to understand it.”
Yet how else should we scratch off layers from the skin of life to be able to understand its oddities and ironies? How shall we run our fingers on the anatomy of physical evil for instance? Under what light shall we explain its very existence? How shall we overcome a paradox, and more concretely, this theological nay, existential paradox?
Perhaps Providence is really the straw that stirs the drink. Perhaps it answers the questions that shroud the nature of vocation to priesthood, justifies the presence of scandalous ministers in the Church and, as far as I am concerned, makes clear why after having been called, I wasn’t chosen.
I am now striving to make a good life outside. Providence has led me to a life of battles, perhaps less in wits and intellectual depths but definitely more in guts and principles. I have chosen to hand down my habits to someone who I pray would be worthy of spreading the sanctity which they signify. Most of my contemporaries in the seminary are now priests. I hope they will all persevere and be happy albeit one or two have already expressed sorrow and regret at a belated realization of having wrongly chosen their paths.
I pray for all of them though. And I pray for more vocations to priesthood - the true vocations - that the Lord will send more laborers in His vineyard. And somehow, by striving to make a good life and with the Lord’s mercy, I pray that I will yet become an “Alter Christus” - however lower now in its form and distinct in its meaning.
And wherever Providence would lead me, my only prayer is “Pater, in manus tuas commendo spiritum meum (Father, into your hands I commend my spirit).”
Kit wrote this wonderful reflection sometime in 1997. He says it's about some of his reflections about failed vocation. It was originally published in "The Thomasian Philosopher," UST Faculty of Philosophy's official publication.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
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